I'm a 47 year old father of four girls and one son - the youngest. I'm blessed with an amazing wife and rewarding career (notice I didn't say lucrative, LOL) as an architect. I don't drink or gamble, and I go to church as much as I can; but my 20+ years in the restaurant business and time in the Army still come out ever so often in the former of an off color or depraved joke from time to time.
I don't hunt or fish, or do anything else that takes me away from my family. My core values really are God, family, and work - and the order sometimes flips around. So following recruiting really is a guilty pleasure of sorts for me. With NSD right around the corner - I would normally be all jacked up, but the good Lord has placed before me several challenges to weather - three of which are weighing particularly heavy on me...
I know that they say God only gives us what we can handle, but apparently Yahwe thinks I'm as bad-ass as John Wick.
(1) My oldest is struggling mightily with drug abuse and depression from the death of her 1/2 sister 5 years ago (her mom and I aren't together and she had another child with her current husband 20+ years ago), and I feel completely helpless given my oldest lives in Evans, GA - and yes, she's a Bulldog fan on top of it.
(2) I'm faced with a career change where I have to decide between guaranteed work for 2 years at a place where the process is so broken, and the turnover is so extreme, and the culture is so toxic - I can barely force myself to work anymore...OR...I can chase a modrately risky opportunity to become the Office Manager at a local branch of a multi-office firm here in Little Rock with unlimited freedom to chase projects, develop staff, and instill processes I believe in. The new opportunity seems too good to be true, and I'm trying to find my blind spot in it. I don't have an MBA or marketing degree, but I can sell the sh** out of a design/vision...
(3) And the most difficult thing is my dad is in an end-of-life situation that likely won't extend beyond the weekend. He's 76 and a retired fireman after 36 years of service. He had a pacemaker put in back in '04 after bypass surgery, and has been pretty healthy ever since. However, the passing of his mother 6 years ago, and the fact my mother is a hoarder have chipped away at his resolve and strength; and it appears that he is giving up. He's been in the hospital since before Christmas with the exception of about 10 days around New Years.
Acute renal failure and acute renal failure are just a couple of the things he's experiencing, and yesterday the doctor said he didn't think he'd ever come home. Additionally, given my mother's hoarder problem - home hospice isn't an issue and if they discharge him he'll have to go to in-patient hospice.
Meanwhile my sister who is on disability and lives in Colorado, and who hasn't seen Arkansas or my dad in well over a decade (every family has a basket case, right?), can't afford to fly in to say goodbye on her own dime. Add to that the fact that my parents had to file bankruptcy due to a combination of mothers impulsive shopping and hoarder issues and the mounting medical bills from her cancer and his health issue - guess who is paying to fly "Colorado" in to see her father one last time and attend the funeral? And yes, my drama queen, older sister will be staying with me and my family on our couch.
So please forgive if I get frustrated with negativity and try to look at the positives in our program. I just figure complaining doesn't serve anything, and I chuckle to myself as I write that given the fact I just wrote 5-6 paragraphs doing just that. I guess it's a desperate plea for prayers to help guide me with wisdom, patience, and strength over the comings days; while shielding my wife and kids from as much turmoil as I can.
FWIW - I accepted the new job yesterday, and plan to give notice on Monday at my current job. My start date is 2/15, and I'm very excited to find out how much I don't know in this new endeavor. I'm about to find out real quick if I'm as smart as I think I am. The good news is I have a trusted and highly capable network of friends and mentors I've developed over the past 10+ years, that I know I can call upon them for advice in any situation...
And in case you're wondering why I'm posting this in the middle of the night - my boy woke up and walked into our crying about an hour ago just in time to barf all over the floor...gotta love stomach viruses...
...like I said, I'm John Wick apparently...
GHG! WPS!
I don't hunt or fish, or do anything else that takes me away from my family. My core values really are God, family, and work - and the order sometimes flips around. So following recruiting really is a guilty pleasure of sorts for me. With NSD right around the corner - I would normally be all jacked up, but the good Lord has placed before me several challenges to weather - three of which are weighing particularly heavy on me...
I know that they say God only gives us what we can handle, but apparently Yahwe thinks I'm as bad-ass as John Wick.
(1) My oldest is struggling mightily with drug abuse and depression from the death of her 1/2 sister 5 years ago (her mom and I aren't together and she had another child with her current husband 20+ years ago), and I feel completely helpless given my oldest lives in Evans, GA - and yes, she's a Bulldog fan on top of it.
(2) I'm faced with a career change where I have to decide between guaranteed work for 2 years at a place where the process is so broken, and the turnover is so extreme, and the culture is so toxic - I can barely force myself to work anymore...OR...I can chase a modrately risky opportunity to become the Office Manager at a local branch of a multi-office firm here in Little Rock with unlimited freedom to chase projects, develop staff, and instill processes I believe in. The new opportunity seems too good to be true, and I'm trying to find my blind spot in it. I don't have an MBA or marketing degree, but I can sell the sh** out of a design/vision...
(3) And the most difficult thing is my dad is in an end-of-life situation that likely won't extend beyond the weekend. He's 76 and a retired fireman after 36 years of service. He had a pacemaker put in back in '04 after bypass surgery, and has been pretty healthy ever since. However, the passing of his mother 6 years ago, and the fact my mother is a hoarder have chipped away at his resolve and strength; and it appears that he is giving up. He's been in the hospital since before Christmas with the exception of about 10 days around New Years.
Acute renal failure and acute renal failure are just a couple of the things he's experiencing, and yesterday the doctor said he didn't think he'd ever come home. Additionally, given my mother's hoarder problem - home hospice isn't an issue and if they discharge him he'll have to go to in-patient hospice.
Meanwhile my sister who is on disability and lives in Colorado, and who hasn't seen Arkansas or my dad in well over a decade (every family has a basket case, right?), can't afford to fly in to say goodbye on her own dime. Add to that the fact that my parents had to file bankruptcy due to a combination of mothers impulsive shopping and hoarder issues and the mounting medical bills from her cancer and his health issue - guess who is paying to fly "Colorado" in to see her father one last time and attend the funeral? And yes, my drama queen, older sister will be staying with me and my family on our couch.
So please forgive if I get frustrated with negativity and try to look at the positives in our program. I just figure complaining doesn't serve anything, and I chuckle to myself as I write that given the fact I just wrote 5-6 paragraphs doing just that. I guess it's a desperate plea for prayers to help guide me with wisdom, patience, and strength over the comings days; while shielding my wife and kids from as much turmoil as I can.
FWIW - I accepted the new job yesterday, and plan to give notice on Monday at my current job. My start date is 2/15, and I'm very excited to find out how much I don't know in this new endeavor. I'm about to find out real quick if I'm as smart as I think I am. The good news is I have a trusted and highly capable network of friends and mentors I've developed over the past 10+ years, that I know I can call upon them for advice in any situation...
And in case you're wondering why I'm posting this in the middle of the night - my boy woke up and walked into our crying about an hour ago just in time to barf all over the floor...gotta love stomach viruses...
...like I said, I'm John Wick apparently...
GHG! WPS!
